Newsletter for MAY 2006

EUGENE / SPRINGFIELD
Parents, Family, and Friends of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgenders

PO Box 11137, Eugene, OR 97440
541-302-4422
http://www.pflag-es.org

PFLAG Meets every third Monday of the month, 6:45 pm 1st Congregational Church.

2005-2006 Board of Directors: Elise Self, chair; Jerry Prud'homme, co-chair; Risa Stephanie Bear, webmistress and transgender coordinator, Charlotte Behm, secretary, Ann Brown, membership, Rose Mary Gray; Librarian/Schools; Joy Hainsworth, hospitality; Anita Stelling, treasurer, Laurel Linklater, John Corey, Barbara von Reyn.


PFLAG's Mission

The mission of PFLAG is to promote the health and well-being of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. PFLAG acts to create environments that consist of people who value human diversity and seek to ensure that such a society flourishes.

In a continuing effort to research, write, and present information on diversity issues, Donovan Walling of Phi Delta Kappa recently shared suggestions for addressing and engaging diversity. He wrote, "Public education is about meeting the needs of all students. And they come from every imaginable background in terms of sex, race, family configuration, religion, culture; sexual orientation, language, ethnicity, and other factors. Even in schools where diversity may not be obvious, educators should pay as much attention to the issues as they do in schools where differences among students are highly visible.'

Though Walling's article was basically focusing on schools, his suggestions can also be extended to apply to the communities where the schools are located and involve all of the people of these communities. Following are Walling's six "tips for engaging diversity.'

1. Embrace the concept of difference. Learning occurs when individuals are exposed to the unfamiliar... Exchanging viewpoints, discussing experiences, and sharing aspects of culture, language, and customs are powerful tools for learning about our world and its inhabitants.

2. Use inclusive language. Avoid stereotyping sex, race, family configuration, sexual orientation, job and at! aspects of individual identity. Find out about students' families. Not everyone has a mother and a father. Not every family is configured alike. Some students come from single-parent homes, have two dads or two moms, live with a grandmother or other relative, or are in foster care.

3. Ask, rather than assume. My wife died when my son was 3 years old. When he was in kindergarten, his teacher called me to ask whether I thought he would be okay with making a Mother's Day card, even though his mother was dead. I appreciated the call and, even more, I still cherish the card he made for me. Rather than make an assumption and give my son an alternative assignment, the teacher checked with me. When questions arise, sensitive teachers ask parents or the students themselves, because they recognize that not everyone is alike.

4. Accommodate diversity in appearance. How students look often provokes controversy, whether hairstyles, clothing, or accessories are simply personal choice or expressions of faith or beliefs. Is banning certain clothing or jewelry necessary to ensure successful schooling, or it is discrimination? Thoughtful educators engage their school's stakeholders in making decisions about appropriate appearance.

5. Seize teachable moments. Use special observances as times to focus on diverse peoples and cultures. Black History Month (February), Women's History Month (March), Asian Pacific American Heritage Month (May), Hispanic Heritage Month (Sept 15 - Oct 15), and American Indian and Alaska Native Heritage Month (November) are examples. For more information, consult the National Archives website at www.ihs.gov/Public_affairs/Heritage/2006Calendar.cfm.

6. Celebrate education. Rather than a limited focus, rather than neutralizing observances and cultural traditions of members of our multiple communities, explore them and the rich and varied traditions. Culture, faith, ethnicities, sexual orientation. language, and a multitude of other factors are a part of and contribute to society. We can examine our world without preaching or forcing or disenfranchising.



May 15th is our Monthly Meeting.

First Congregational Church, 1050 E. 23rd at 6:45.

Our June meeting wilt be on Monday, June 19th. Sally Sheklow, Community Alliance of Lane County (CALC) will be discussing hate crimes.

We will still be meeting in the same place downstairs but will enter at the side door. (From the lower parking lot, just before you get to the steps going up to the main part of the church, go through the door to the right).


What music is...

The very existence of music is wonderful, I might even say miraculous. Its domain is between thought and phenomena. Like a twilight mediator, it hovers between spirit and matter, related to both, yet differing from each. It is spirit, but it is spirit subject to the measurement of time. It is matter, but it is matter that can dispense with space. (Heinrich Heine)

Music is Love in search of a word. (Sidney Lanier)


How to Write Op-Eds

Part of  PFLAG's mission is to enlighten an ill-informed public. One way to do this is to write letters to the editor [see previous newsletter] and another way is to write Op-Ed pieces.

Op-Eds are longer than letters to the editor, and there is more competition for space (usually 600-800 words).

Maximize the possibility that a publication will accept your op-ed piece by addressing a controversial or fresh aspect of current news. If you can use a professional title that suggests authority, do so. If you work for an organization, get permission to sign the op-ed as a representative of that organization.

If you submit a piece to multiple papers in different markets, call and assure the op-ed editors that the piece has not been submitted to any other paper in their individual market. If, on the other hand, you send it to only one paper, let that paper know you are offering them an exclusive.

In writing op-eds, avoid excessive rhetoric or jargon. State the subject under controversy clearly. You are trying to persuade a middle-of-the-road readership. If you rely on facts not commonly found in the mainstream, cite your sources.

Try to think of a catchy title. If you don't, the paper will be more likely to run its own -- which may not emphasize your central message. Even if you do write your own headline, don't be surprised if it is not used. It still has value because it helps your editor focus on your central point.

Be personal and conversational, but not too relaxed.

(Communications professionals from the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation [GLAAD] contributed greatly to this information. Freedom_To_Marry.org.


EQuality Network

EQuality Network is the political action, education and social justice organization representing GLBTQ communities in the greater Eugene/ Springfield area. EQ holds monthly meetings and is engaged in a broad range of actions aimed at enlightening, empowering and enhancing life for gay, lesbian, bi, trans and queer folk and their allies. For more information email equalitynetwork@comcast.net.

Internalized Transphobia, Part II

[A few prejudices] tend to unite in disdain for one of the oldest groups in the gender-variant world, the drag queens (drag kings seem to be astonishingly exempt - perhaps much of the lesbian community holds "woman born woman" as~primary. regardless o how a born woman dresses or acts, or why).

There was a time when being a queen was about all that was open for a born male to "transition" to. A fiercely loyal and insular community, much reviled {and much desired), built up around female impersonation, continuing as a culture today that has considerable depth and vitality.

Drag queens early on discovered an ancient safe zone, and exploited it to the hilt for needed self-expression and a means to social status among their peers as well as some shelter from the disapproval and sometimes violent reactions of the outside world.

The stage, which evolved from the village dancing grounds of prehistory, was and still is, like those dancing grounds, a sacred space. Actors, dancers and singers are separated from the audience by silent assent to an unspoken contract like that between the priest and congregation in a church - that the audience will be transported, for a time, beyond the boundaries of everyday life, adding a richness to their experience otherwise unattainable. In exchange for which, the performers obtain a certain immunity from harm, and perhaps even income.

In general, the formula has worked better than any available alternatives for over a century; hence the extent of this culture. But danger remains high.

There's a sense of pent-up energy unleashed in drag shows, the surface of which is joie-de-vivre, and the undertow of which is tragedy and sadness. Most, though not all, queens are gay males. Many have self-esteem issues, dating back to family rejection, and their performance milieu is rife with access to alcohol and other harsh drugs, as well as men with STDs or dangerous agendas. Many have lost friends to one or more of these. There's a wisdom, acquired through excess exposure to humanity's darker impulses, that many queens have, especially as they grow older, but it's not always on display — there is a wariness here that often comes across as hatefulness.

Can I trust you? Probably not ... please go away.

Many drag performances embody complex aspects of distrust, despair, and ironic social commentary that come across to outsiders as misogyny. While some performers undoubtedly cross this line, I would only note that idealists will make a poor audience for such satire and should perhaps not frequent drag clubs.

At the bottom of all this presumed hierarchy are prostitutes, porn models, and porn actresses, many of them the most disdained of all: she-males. And the most-most disdained: transwomen and she-males in the sex trades who are women of color.

A she-male, as a rule, is a born male who uses silicone instead of hormone replacement therapy for feminization. They also may use facial feminization surgery and electrolysis or laser hair removal, and their public presentation can be very convincing. But they do tend to avoid hormones. This is frequently for the purpose of allowing themselves to be exploited for their ability to maintain an erection, which is very important to a wide constituency of purportedly heterosexual males who are in denial about their sexual orientation. "It's not gay sex if you can pretend it's a girl." She-male porn and escort industries amount to a billion-plus-dollar trade.

There are many transfolk who find that, just as they are hated, and opportunities for housing and employment are denied them, they are also desired - and sex work represents, sometimes, the only income they feel they can realistically access, frequently rationalized as "just 'til I get my operation." But it is put off, often as the result of easy access to debilitatingly addictive drugs that become attractive in this stressful setting.

Some actually manage to fund their operations and even their educations in this way, escaping back into the hetero mainstream with little or no former history, which is known as "going stealth." If no one knows you were born the other gender, this is called "deep stealth," but especially under the Bush administration's open hostility to transpeople and Homeland Security's obsession with tracking identity changes, this is becoming more difficult over time. I have a few friends who have pulled this off (transition through sex work). They all tell me the odds were long, and that they feel fortunate not to have acquired AIDS, or long, rape-infested jail time, or a junkie's tombstone.

Heterosexual society tends to lump all gender-variant people into a single category associated with an obsession (their own, really) with "deviant" sex. They may feel justified in this assumption if they can point to queens, CDs, pre-ops and she-males, especially those working in the sex trade, and somehow extrapolate from these to some idea of "sexual predators."

Risa Bear
http://epud.net/~bears/

(To Be Continued)


Come join us! Have fun! Enjoy good food and good people. Bring yourself, a friend or more and your best "I'm really good at making..." dish to a PFLAG pot Luck Dinner. 6:00 pm to 8:00 pm on Monday, May 29th. EPUD Building, 33733 Seavey Loop Road. Everyone's invited!


PFLAG Eugene/Springfield is part of Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbian & Gays (PFLAG), a national non-profit organization with over 200.000 members and supporters and over 500 affiliates in the U.S. This vast grassroots network is cultivated, resourced and serviced by the PFLAG national office, located in Washington, D.C., the national Board of Directors and 14 Regional Directors.

PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, their families and friends through: support, to cope with an adverse society; education, to enlighten an ill-informed public; and advocacy, to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity, and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.


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PFLAG Eugene/Springfield
PO Box 11137 Eugene, OR 97440

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This newsletter edited by our wonderful Rose Mary Gray. If you would prefer to read this newsletter on, or print it from, our website (saving us postage!, call (541), 302-4422 or email Risa Bear at bears[at]epud.net.