Resources for parents, family, and friends

There is a parents-only meeting every month. Call the helpline, and the meeting coordinator will get back to you ASAP.

Cyber Bullying: A New Frontier in Harassment

With more youth coming out in early high school and even middle school, PFLAG chapters are seeing younger and younger parents who are dealing with issues many of us have not encountered before. One of those issues is cyber bullying. Chapters should be prepared with information and resources if a parent or youth encounters this new form of bullying.

Cyber bullying has been defined by the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use to mean, "being cruel to others by sending or posting harmful material using the Internet or a cell phone."

New technologies have revolutionized communication and information, particularly for young people, and although the cyber world has been a great friend to the LGBT community by helping students gain access to information and support, it has also created new opportunities for bullying and harassment.

Cyber bullying may seem like the same old behavior using different means, but because this form of bullying can be done anonymously, it can take on very different qualities. Perpetrators, victims and bystanders have somewhat different roles in the process. The ability to resend emails and text messages create confusion about what has happened.

Terminology you should know:

• Flaming- online verbal attacks or fights via electronic messages, (e.g., in chat rooms) and using hostile and vulgar language.
• Harassment- repeated messages of an offensive or derogatory nature directed to a target.
• Cyber stalking- repeated messages of an intimidating character that make a person feel afraid for his or her physical safety.
• Denigration- online "put-downs," including sending or posting hurtful gossip or rumors to cause the target embarrassment.
• Impersonation- using someone's email account to send out messages, supposedly from the account holder, that reflect badly on that person and may cause trouble, shame, or embarrassment.
• Outing and Trickery- disclosure of someone's private information online, sending or posting embarrassing images, or deceptions leading another person to reveal personal details about him or herself.
• Exclusion- deliberately keeping someone out of an online group such as a buddy list or game.

What schools should do:

• Add cyber bullying to existing anti-harassment or bullying policies.
• Provide training and education for students, teachers and parents.
• Take cyber bullying seriously.

Here are some resources to get more information on cyber bullying:

• Responding to Cyber Bullying
• Stopping Text Bullies
• iSafe
• Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use
• NetSmartz

Over 40 Scholarships, 1 application to complete

Accepting Your Gay or Lesbian Child, by John Panel (audiotape) http://www.pflag.org/index.php?id=211

Family Stories http://www.pflag.org/index.php?id=90

Out of the Closet, Into Our Hearts, ed. Siegel/Olson, 160p. http://www.critpath.org/pflag-talk/celebrations.html

Our Trans Children (online edition) http://www.youth-guard.org/pflag-tnet/booklet.html

Guidelines for working with youth http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/Guidelines_for_Working_with_Youth.pdf

Publications at PFLAG National

• Our Daughters and Sons: Questions and Answers for Parents of Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual People. One of our most popular publications, this is a "must read" for parents who are forming new and honest relationships with a loved one who has come out to them. This booklet answers several commonly-asked questions about having a gay child. It includes a list of related resources. (23 pages)

• Nuestras Hijas y Nuestros Hijos: Preguntas y respuestas para padres de gays, lesbianas y bisexuales (Spanish translation of Our Daughters and Sons). A culturally appropriate translation of  "Our Daughters and Sons," this booklet is a valuable resource for Spanish-speaking families coming to terms with homosexuality and bisexuality. The booklet answers commonly asked questions about having a GLBT loved one, and includes English and Spanish language resources. (27 pages)

• Be Yourself: Questions and Answers for Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Youth. Today's youth face more social pressures than ever, especially since young people are coming out at increasingly younger ages. This publication offers a supportive approach to common questions asked by teens who may be questioning their sexual orientation. It also provides hotline numbers for teens and a list of resources. (22 pages)

• Faith in Our Families: Parents, Families and Friends Talk About Religion and Homosexuality. Discovering that a loved one is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered can pose new questions about your faith and may prompt you to re-evaluate beliefs that you previously took for granted. By using personal experiences, this publication provides examples for reconciling your faith with the knowledge that a loved one is gay. includes an updated list of gay and lesbian religious and spiritual groups to watch out for. (25 pages)

• Bisexuality Resource Packet: Bisexuality is a commonly misunderstood and misrepresented concept. Thie packet provides facts about bisexuality, commonly-asked questions, resoucre lists and a set of articles.

• From Our House to the Schoolhouse: A Safe Schools Publication: Making schools safe for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered youth is an important part of PFLAG's work. Facts about anti-gay harassment in schools and important legal landmarks are detailed in this booklet for educators. Resources and a "safe schools checklist" are also included.

• Opening the Straight Spouses' Closet: Finding out a spouse is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered can be difficult. Questions about sexual orientation, fidelity, self-esteem and fear often go unanswered. This recently updated and expanded publication provides insight into issues facing spouses, including coping stages, identity crises, concerns about children and support avenues. (19 pages) 

GSA Grant program

25 Ways PFLAG Makes Schools Safer Every Day

1. Meeting with school administrators
2. Organizing and participating in sensitivity trainings for school personnel and students
3. Supporting Gay/Straight Alliances
4. Donating books on sexual orientation and gender identity to school libraries
5. Participating in community Safe Schools Coalitions
6. Meeting with school counselors
7. Providing college scholarships to LGBT students
8. Advocating for state legislation that protects LGBT students
9. Writing letters to the editors of our local papers about Safe Schools Issues
10. Helping diversity schools' curricula
11. Meeting with school nurses and other health workers
12. Sponsoring proms for LGBT youth
13. Forming and supporting community groups for sexual minority youth
14. Speaking in colleges and universities to future teachers and school personnel
15. Lobbying school boards for nondiscrimination policies that include sexual orientation and gender identity
16. Speaking out about Safe Schools issues in the broader community   
17. Supporting legal action to ensure that our loved ones are safe in school
18. Focusing our Safe Schools efforts on LGBT youth, as well as others perceived as "different"
19. Supporting families whose LGBT loved ones committed suicide or ran away due to unsafe schools
20. Participating in educators'conferences
21. Monitoring schools' compliance with nondiscrimination policies
22. Supporting LGBT teachers and staff, and advocating for fair personnel policies
23. Running for school board seats or other elected office to make a difference from within
24. Distributing research and publications on LGBT youth issues
25. Working with PTAs and other groups

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PFLAG scholarship programs